What is this feeling on my chest? My chest feels so heavy as if a rock is tied to my body. I feel so cold inside and yet I know I am perfectly fine. Is that what people call hopelessness? It is like a hole with no bottom. It is free falling without the adrenaline rush. I feel lost. My head feels light as if I were high on caffeine. Just let me hit the ground. I can take the pain. It is the void that I cannot stand.
I really can't imagine myself going to volunteer tonight. I know it is important for me to go. If I play awol just because my cat is sick, people may think little of me. Yet, I can't help to feel so hopelessly. There is nothing I can do to make my cat to recover. If there were a God, he must be making fun of me now.
Maybe I have done something wrong? Perhaps I brush his tooth too often? Wrong type of hairball remedy? Not enough canned food? What could have gone wrong?
Please let my Randy get well soon.